


Cosy

by kathkin



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (1963)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Space Dorks, silliness and leg warmers, watch out for the Andy Stewart shout-out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-18
Updated: 2015-08-18
Packaged: 2018-04-15 11:24:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4604886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kathkin/pseuds/kathkin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor puts up with Jamie parading around Siberia and the Himalayas in his kilt, but he draws the line at the ice-moon of Argak 3. Jamie refuses to put on a pair of trousers. They'll just have to find a compromise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cosy

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this tumblr thread](http://penny-anna.tumblr.com/post/127004234798/a-thought) about Jamie and leg warmers. :3
> 
> Set some time before _The Glorious Revolution_. (Which has no bearing on the fic, there's just one line that'd be kind of weird otherwise.)

Zoe heard the row from outside the control room – and really, by this point in their acquaintance, she really should have known better than to think there might be something seriously wrong. In the whole time she’d known them the Doctor and Jamie had never had a serious argument. She didn’t know what she’d _do_ if they had a serious argument.

“For heaven’s sake, Jamie, it’s thirty degrees below freezing. You are _not_ –”

“Och, hell –”

“ _Not_ going outside with your legs dangling out!”

“They’re nae danglin’.”

“Hanging, then. Oh, do put on some trousers.”

“The hell I will! I can handle it.”

The Doctor turned and began prodding at his instruments. “You’ll get frostbite and your knees will fall off. Oh, hallo, Zoe.” He smiled at her mildly. “See, _Zoe’s_ dressed properly.”

Actually, Zoe was beginning to think she might have gone a little overboard. She’d swaddled herself in so many layers that she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to get up if she fell over, _and_ she was already too hot inside the TARDIS.

Jamie was too concerned about the prospect of frostbite to do more than grunt at her. “Can that really happen? Och, you’re pulling me leg.”

“It can so!” the Doctor protested. “In fact –”

“Oh, can you two hurry it up before I overheat?” Zoe interrupted before the Doctor could share any more gruesome details. “Or could you at least let _me_ out.”

“No.” Ignoring her groan of dismay, the Doctor locked the door. “None of us are going _anywhere_ until Jamie covers his knees up.” He fixed a stony glare upon Jamie’s bare knees until at last Jamie relented.

“Och, _fine_.” He turned and stomped out of the control room, muttering under his breath about _Sassenachs_ and _just don’t get it do you_ and _get a proper fright at home if they saw me in trousers_.

“And put on a hat while you’re at it!” the Doctor called after him. “Honestly,” he said. “He can be so dratted stubborn sometimes.”

Zoe didn’t say _speak for yourself_. She looked wistfully up at the icy spires on the scanner and said, “does he _ever_ wear trousers?”

“It has been known,” said the Doctor. “In, ah, extraordinary circumstances. I think it makes him homesick,” he added in a secretive tone.

“Quite possibly,” said Zoe, though it struck her as sentimental nonsense.

“And really, I put up with him parading around Siberia and the Himalayas in his kilt, but I draw the line at the ice-moon of Argak 3 – oh, here he comes.”

There was a steady stomping in the corridor outside, and Jamie appeared in the doorway. “How’s this?”

Zoe stared, appalled. “What have you got on your _legs_ ,” she exclaimed. She wasn’t aware the Doctor _owned_ leg warmers, let alone a pair so – striking. “Doctor!”

“Hmm?” The Doctor looked Jamie up and down, and studiously did not react. “That’ll do. Come along, now.” He threw the switch and marched out the open doors into the snow, footsteps crunching away.

Jamie ambled towards the door, fastening on his gloves. “You coming?”

Zoe was still hung up on his choice of legwear. She had half a mind to flat out tell him that he looked ridiculous, but she had a strong suspicion that he knew perfectly well and was doing it on purpose. That or he didn’t care, in which case her telling him what she thought wouldn’t make the slightest bit of difference.

She settled for, “they’re so _fluffy_.”

“Aye. I’m very cosy,” Jamie said cheerfully.

“And green.” The same lurid green as the power-up light on a computer, or a particularly vile fluorescent mould Zoe had once seen growing on a jungle planet in the nasty end of the Andromeda galaxy.

“I like green.”

“Do come on!” called the Doctor, already a furry blob in the distance.

They stepped out of the TARDIS into a wall of cold so acute that it took Zoe’s breath away. Her eyes watered. When she caught her breath, all she could do was laugh. Jamie broke into shivery laughter beside her. “Och, what a place. Let’s go back in, eh?” But he was grinning, so she was fairly sure he was joking.

“And close the door,” the Doctor shouted. “You’re letting the draft in!”

Zoe pulled the door closed behind them with a _snap_. “Onwards,” she said before Jamie could argue.

“I knew you’d say that,” he said, and trudged away after the Doctor. 

If nothing else, Zoe reflected as she watched his fuzzy green legs march into the distance, he was very easy to spot in the snow.


End file.
